Growing up in Buffalo, New York, hockey was my sport. I started skating pretty early in life, and it quickly became my dream to play in college and then in the NHL. As seasons went by, I scored more goals and had more assists, and I started getting recognized for my ability to play the game I loved. In high school, I played on multiple teams, winning two national championships and a gold medal at the Empire State games. My senior year, I captained my team to a perfect 40-win season, which resulted in the National Junior B Championship.

As I look back on those years, I find myself asking, “Was I the leader that my teammates and coaches deserved? Was I following the example that Jesus Christ had provided for me when He was leading His team of disciples here on earth?

When I was 13 years old, I entered a city-wide track meet. My younger sister was a talented sprinter, so my parents and I wanted to see if I had the gift too. We lived in a city east of Chicago, and, as I entered the track and went to check-in for my race, I noticed I was probably one of two white kids in my heat. I also noticed that everyone else around me was a lot taller and bigger. At just over 5 feet and 115 lbs., I was what most parents and coaches call a "late bloomer."

When I was in eighth grade, my world got turned upside down. My dad was a pastor, and when he got a new job, we moved from a small town where I was comfortable, had friends, and felt like I made a difference, to a little bigger town where I had to “prove myself” all over again. I greatly feared being insignificant and wanted to do anything I could to set myself apart. So, I did what I knew best: I played sports thinking that would give me the value I wanted. As it turned out, I did achieve success, but it didn’t have the lasting value I thought it would. I wound up being labeled as a show-off and dealing with an entirely different problem—all because I thought I needed to prove myself and achieve worldly significance.

For years social psychologists have been studying “crowd” or “mob” psychology in which they study how a group’s mentality differs from that of the individuals within the group. One theory that has emerged is the idea that people react differently in a group than when they are on their own. For instance, during criminal incidents, research shows that if there is a large number of people around, men and women will be less likely to intervene because they think someone else will assist. People take their cues from others in the area and think, “If they are not getting involved, neither am I.” And that kind of group thinking takes place every day.

Once while battling through some of the more stressful moments in coaching, I picked up a devotional seeking comfort. It was early in the morning, and I was hoping that the writing for that day would speak directly to my situation.